My functional dysfunctional family

My mum, who wanted me to sell my virginity on ebay (for no less than 5 mill, of course!), but then decided I should keep it until I'm at least 35.
My sister, who says I'm gay and a loser (on the bad days). We're chalk and cheese, but get on like wildfire (the good days).
My mum's boyfriend, who is obsessed with cooking us gourmet every night, and buys $400 pots.
My Dad, who is occasionally in the country. Who gets up in the morning to make me a chicken wrap, even though he is puffed out by the end of it.
My swedish stepmum, who insists on walking around the house topless. Gravity has not been kind. Oh and, she loves rosemary, a lot.
Then there are the asian girls, who live in the house.
And me, I love them.

First rule of Peyton Club is - you do not talk about Peyton Club.


Things I think...

It takes something to shake things up, before you enjoy the peace.

Other languages are very attractive, even if you don't understand them. Sava? E tu?

Boys are still boys, at the moment, I'm happy waiting for a man.

As you move through life, you appreciate the hotness of people in about a 15 year span of your own age. So gradually, that span moves up.

There's gotta be something more. I've got to believe that.

"Just sitting here enjoying myself" (with tears in my eyes).

I sound so serious when I write these blogs, but I'm silly a lot of the time! (I just use proper grammar, which often makes things seem so serious. See "sooo serious" sounds more girly and natural!)

I figured it out

I'm a walking contradiction.
Actually, I'm not just one contradiction, I'm many.
I'm shy, but actually, many of my friends would call me loud.
I don't care what people think (or so I say).
When I want something, I find a way to get it, problem is, I don't seem to know what I want.
I'm straightforward and I don't like drama, but actually, I love gossip and I manipulate people.
I'm always myself, I don't put on an act, but how can I be myself if I don't know what myself is?
From this, it seems one thing is clear.
I think too much.
But wait, is there such a thing as thinking too much?

11:53 PM, 26 May, 2006. Peyton's official state of mind.

White with no sugar

The other day, I had tea, white with no sugar.
I think I was feeling kinda bluh. Overwhelmed with study.
I prefer being a white with two sugars kinda girl. :)

All the best things are French

Why is it that so many of the best things in life are French?

French fries
French manicure
French kissing
French bread

Okay so, there's four, really great things.

Time, or lack there of.

O that time is the foulest criminal of all.
Time, whom is the rankest rogue, man's most fearsome foe.
He is far greedier than mortal man,
His only true possession being an insatiable hunger.
Hunger not for our objects, but for that which we grip with white knuckled hands,
That which continues to slip and slide,
As relenting as the tide.
Time, that lets us live, while robbing us of life.

That's really roughly written, so I know I'll probably read it tomorrow and find a million corrections to make. But it kinda sums up my feelings on the fact that I'm 16, and already I feel as though I'm entering a mid life crisis! I lay awake at night fearful of the fact that time is constantly passing, that years are slipping by faster and faster, that I am helpless to stop it, and of that fact that one day, I will have no time left. None at all.

So I want to do something really worthwhile with my life! I'm just not sure what yet.

The rhythm, the beat, the melody.

Tonight I was listening to a song and I started whistling along with the solo. I knew absolutely every note that was played, every change in beat, just, everything. My friend said that to me, "you know every note!" It was almost without thinking, and it wasn't that I'd heard that song so many times. I just knew. And it's not just with that song either. Remember the song Wherever, Whenever that was released by Shakira? I heard it playing on Rage, and I loved it, but I thought it was an old song, because I could have sworn I'd been listening to it for years. Turns out it had only just been released. It makes me think that there are some songs that you just connect with, that you just know. It's hard to explain exactly what I mean, but I'm trying!
It makes me wonder if anyone else gets this feeling.

There are also some songs that just absolutely touch your heart, that you just think are beautiful. This may seem strange, but Dilemma, which was released by Nelly and Kelly (gosh that sounds silly) was one of those songs for me. More recently, there's a song by Israel Kamakawiwo Ole' which is a kind of medley of Somewhere Over the Rainbow and What a Wonderful World that really...touches my heart, as corny as that sounds. I listen to it, and it brings me to tears, or it just lulls me, until I find myself sitting here with my eyes closed, without even realising.

You know how people get sick of songs? A song that used to evoke so much emotion in you suddenly sounds boring. I think that may be because the song has had a kind of carthartic effect. Once you have listened to the song enough, all the emotion is released, and the song no longer has the same meaning. But it's still really special if a song can do that. And...I think it can.